How we view each other

There are times in life when something happens and all of a sudden there is a huge difference in how you see the world. The addition of that one thing shifts us from one point of view to another. Some of these things are big and some seemingly inconsequential at the time, but still our view of the world changes.

Adopting a child was one of those major events that created a difference in my view of the world. Going from being childless to having a child in an instant, changed how I acted, how I viewed the future, and so much more that I couldn’t give real merit to it in a short entry.

But one of the seemingly inconsequential moments occurred some years later that shifted my thoughts about my daughter. Up to a time after my wife and I first adopted our daughter, she was ‘our adopted Chinese daughter.’ This was just the way I introduced her. For some of my life long friends who knew me, this seemed appropriate.

But one day I was talking to a stranger and he asked me about my ‘adopted Chinese daughter.’ I don’t know - there was some – not distain – but some perhaps distance in his inquiry – like ‘why would I do that?’ I’m really not sure what colored the interaction, but the way he asked his question was distasteful to me.

At that moment she became simply ‘my daughter.’ No longer did I feel like I have to explain her heritage or how she came to be in our family. I no longer cared to be specific in my introduction. She was at that moment and forever more simply ‘my daughter.’

The distinction may not seem significant to you. It doesn’t really matter, but it was quite significant to me. To this day my relationship with her is different, stronger, more loving and complete. Additionally it was a breakthrough for me as to how I saw race, skin color, cultural background and genetics. She is mine and all that entails.

Saying that, I want to take the essence of that experience and apply it to our President Elect, Barack Obama.

At first I saw the significance of Obama as being our first black president. That truly was momentous and marked a turning point in our history. But there is more to it than that.

Instead of Obama being our first black president I invite you consider that he is simply our President, who happens to be black. At a higher level of thinking, this means the color of your skin doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, Asian or Latino. What does matter is that the merit of a man or woman is measured by what he or she does and not by their ethnic background.

This becomes immensely important to me, because in some circles my daughter is still considered a ‘person of color.’ But perhaps the racial prejudices that we have held in this country have been eroded just a little more. This election may be one more thing that will shift our view of each other. It may mean that there is one less barrier blocking my daughter’s potential success in life. It may mean that it won’t matter what color she is, but that her success is based on what she is capable of accomplishing and no parent could ask for more than that.